things i learned from my patients, ER edition

from the student doctor network forums. this has to be some of the funniest stuff i have ever, ever read.

some choice examples-

>Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

>Always wait until finishing your woodwork with the skillsaw prior to using your meth.

>Latex paint, despite being thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide the same relief as pepto bismol.

>If you are 13 and feeling....experimental....Don't use the dish hose from the sink as your ambassador to rectal pleasure. If you do, the spring-loaded handle thingy will open after you shove it up past the anus, making it impossible to get out.
Furthermore, it will be difficult to explain to your step-father when he discovers you how you became 'tethered' to the sink by the dish hose.

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