23 minutes of a new york jew hailing from russia getting extremely frustrated playing hacker-designed levels of super mario bros. probably only humorous for gamers or people with mario experience.
i havent laughed this hard in many moons.
Showing posts with label funny poo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny poo. Show all posts
4/22/07
4/5/07
Murphy's Law For Pizza Delivery Drivers
thought this was funny
# The odds that your delivery to the apartment complex will be on the first floor is inversely proportional to the number of pizzas and drinks you are carrying. Corollary: All deliveries to apartment complexes are upstairs and the more pizzas and the harder it is raining, the more flights you'll have to climb.
# The odds on getting a tip are inversely proportional to how hard it is raining, the further you have to drive to get there, and the further away from the address you must park.
# If a kid answers the door, you're not getting a tip.
# While waiting for pizza delivery orders to come out of the oven, the one that goes to the worst neighborhood to a known stiffer always is ready first.
# The only house in the neighborhood with their porch light off will be the house you're looking for.
# The higher the gas prices, the lower the tips.
# The harder it rains, the further away you'll have to park.
# The worse the weather, the more people call for pizza delivery
# People who call for pizza delivery five minutes before the store closes will live at the far edges of the delivery area, in a house with no number on the house or mailbox, and they'll stiff you.
# When looking for a house in a neighborhood with no numbers on the house or mailboxes, you'll always pick the wrong house.
# When being given a delivery on a busy street during rush hour, the address will always be on the other side of the street.
# The worse the neighborhood, the longer you'll have to wait for the customer to answer the door.
# The further away from the store and the closer it is to closing time, the more likely a customer will give you a large bill you must bring back to the store to have changed
# The older the order, the more likely you'll get lost or get stuck in slow traffic
# The quicker you arrive at an address, the more likely they'll not be home or they'll be taking a shower.
# When taking multiple orders, always deliver to the known stiffers last.
# If you have to call a customer on your cell phone on the way to a delivery to get directions they won't answer their phone.
# The harder it is raining, the more likely the customer won't have a roofed porch.
# The busier the store, the more often you'll need to use the bathroom.
# The odds for a decent night's tips are inversely proportional to how badly you need the money.
# The odds that your delivery to the apartment complex will be on the first floor is inversely proportional to the number of pizzas and drinks you are carrying. Corollary: All deliveries to apartment complexes are upstairs and the more pizzas and the harder it is raining, the more flights you'll have to climb.
# The odds on getting a tip are inversely proportional to how hard it is raining, the further you have to drive to get there, and the further away from the address you must park.
# If a kid answers the door, you're not getting a tip.
# While waiting for pizza delivery orders to come out of the oven, the one that goes to the worst neighborhood to a known stiffer always is ready first.
# The only house in the neighborhood with their porch light off will be the house you're looking for.
# The higher the gas prices, the lower the tips.
# The harder it rains, the further away you'll have to park.
# The worse the weather, the more people call for pizza delivery
# People who call for pizza delivery five minutes before the store closes will live at the far edges of the delivery area, in a house with no number on the house or mailbox, and they'll stiff you.
# When looking for a house in a neighborhood with no numbers on the house or mailboxes, you'll always pick the wrong house.
# When being given a delivery on a busy street during rush hour, the address will always be on the other side of the street.
# The worse the neighborhood, the longer you'll have to wait for the customer to answer the door.
# The further away from the store and the closer it is to closing time, the more likely a customer will give you a large bill you must bring back to the store to have changed
# The older the order, the more likely you'll get lost or get stuck in slow traffic
# The quicker you arrive at an address, the more likely they'll not be home or they'll be taking a shower.
# When taking multiple orders, always deliver to the known stiffers last.
# If you have to call a customer on your cell phone on the way to a delivery to get directions they won't answer their phone.
# The harder it is raining, the more likely the customer won't have a roofed porch.
# The busier the store, the more often you'll need to use the bathroom.
# The odds for a decent night's tips are inversely proportional to how badly you need the money.
3/17/07
animal hold out competition
the object is to see how many of the animals favorite treats can be stacked on or around them without them giving in to temptation. pretty funny.
jack russel terrier playing with an interactive soccer floor display.
aww. dumb dog. he would probably keep this up for hours if you let him.
actually, now that i think about it, this could be a pretty useful tool for keepin those rowdy pets entertained while you are away from home. hmmm.
actually, now that i think about it, this could be a pretty useful tool for keepin those rowdy pets entertained while you are away from home. hmmm.
"is this what you want"
"After searching around the internet, we have compiled a list of what you, the viewer, wants to see. So we ask you this, is this what you want?"
high-larious commentary on the state of the internet and what people (apparently) want from it. very, very not safe for work. mom, if you are out there, i recommend you just skip this one.
link- dumpalink.com/animations/Is_That_What_You_Want_
high-larious commentary on the state of the internet and what people (apparently) want from it. very, very not safe for work. mom, if you are out there, i recommend you just skip this one.
link- dumpalink.com/animations/Is_That_What_You_Want_
3/14/07
3/11/07
scratch bastard at scribble jam
video of scratch bastards goofy ass winning the dj competition at scribble jam in '03.
3/8/07
worth 1000 star wars/ celebrities photoshop mash up
worth 1000 had a photoshop contest where they asked contestants to turn celebrities into star wars characters. some of the results are pretty clever.
link to many more entries-www.worth1000.com
link to many more entries-www.worth1000.com
3/1/07
lucy daughter of the devil
ive found my new thing! i just thought this was the funniest thing i had seen in ages. maybe that says something about me...the introductory episode of new adult swim cartoon, "lucy daughter of the devil". and she lives on haight street! ha!
pwnzrd
Rehydrate. Rehabilitate. Intoxicate. Introducing Adequite, the world's first single-grain triple-distilled luxury vodka available in a discreet plastic container that resembles an innocent - yet stylish - water bottle. Specially developed by troubled alcohol enthusiast and occasional movie actress Lindsay Lohan, Adequite is the solution to the problem you're not ready to admit you have.
2/23/07
alternate uses for your laptop
in order to promote "shutdown day", where they ask everyone to go 24 hours without your computer this march 24th, just to see what will happen, these guys made a hilarious short of alternate uses for your laptop.
“Emails will go unanswered, and blogs will not be updated. During lunch breaks, people might talk to their co-workers and go for walks outside. One might even buy a newspaper to catch up on the latest.
At home, computer games will wonder what they’ve done to cause their players to ignore them so completely. The echoes of IM bleeps and pings will temporarily cease.”
“Emails will go unanswered, and blogs will not be updated. During lunch breaks, people might talk to their co-workers and go for walks outside. One might even buy a newspaper to catch up on the latest.
At home, computer games will wonder what they’ve done to cause their players to ignore them so completely. The echoes of IM bleeps and pings will temporarily cease.”
MOSHZILLA STOMP!
like the tron guy post, here is another one of those internet memes that have made the rounds a million times, but some people coming here might have missed, and that would be a shame.
moshzilla- this young lady was just minding her business in the friendly neighborhood mosh pit, when someone decided to post this pic of her somewhere out there, and all hell broke loose. you could hear the masses of photoshoppers falling out of their seats from pretty much anywhere on earth.
how she got her name
how she got her fame
many more here- glumosh.blogspot.com
moshzilla- this young lady was just minding her business in the friendly neighborhood mosh pit, when someone decided to post this pic of her somewhere out there, and all hell broke loose. you could hear the masses of photoshoppers falling out of their seats from pretty much anywhere on earth.
how she got her name
how she got her fame
many more here- glumosh.blogspot.com
2/20/07
tron guy recap/ for my brother
somehow, my brother didnt know who "tron guy" was. this is tron guy-
nice package, tron guy!
tron guy, a.k.a. jay maynard was a mild mannered computer consultant(or something), from minnesota(or somewhere), who made a tron costume for "penguicon", a combination linux user/ scifi convention, and posted the whole costume making process, which you can find here- tron costume
this propelled him to minor intenet notoriety, which led to him appearing as a guest on the jimmy kimmel show, which subsequently led to him being a semi regular guest/victim of the show. first they tried him out as a man on the street interviewer, which is quite possibly some of the most painful footage ever produced. prime example right here.
whew. in the process of his fame, it is revealed that jay has never been married or had a girlfriend or had sex for that matter, so the jimmy kimmel show decides to find love for the tron guy, and set him up on a series of dates. two of which i highly recommend-
date #1, where he went rollerskating. an ode to intersexual akwardness.
date #2, where a party girl finally takes control of the situation and gets him hammered and rubs his face in her boobies.
and finally we come to "now" where the latest manifestation of the tron guy was in this mac ad parody,
which is brilliant.
more, much much more, here-www.tronguy.net
nice package, tron guy!
tron guy, a.k.a. jay maynard was a mild mannered computer consultant(or something), from minnesota(or somewhere), who made a tron costume for "penguicon", a combination linux user/ scifi convention, and posted the whole costume making process, which you can find here- tron costume
this propelled him to minor intenet notoriety, which led to him appearing as a guest on the jimmy kimmel show, which subsequently led to him being a semi regular guest/victim of the show. first they tried him out as a man on the street interviewer, which is quite possibly some of the most painful footage ever produced. prime example right here.
whew. in the process of his fame, it is revealed that jay has never been married or had a girlfriend or had sex for that matter, so the jimmy kimmel show decides to find love for the tron guy, and set him up on a series of dates. two of which i highly recommend-
date #1, where he went rollerskating. an ode to intersexual akwardness.
date #2, where a party girl finally takes control of the situation and gets him hammered and rubs his face in her boobies.
and finally we come to "now" where the latest manifestation of the tron guy was in this mac ad parody,
which is brilliant.
more, much much more, here-www.tronguy.net
2/18/07
2/17/07
wal mart dance party/ abercrombie dance party
a buncha kids invade wal mart and break into a dance party in the electronics department-
and a different group hits up abercrombie and fitch-
its hilarious how pissy people get with them.
and a different group hits up abercrombie and fitch-
its hilarious how pissy people get with them.
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